When my husband (whom I thought was loyal) told me he was leaving, it was a curveball I didn't see coming. Once I got through the initial blast of shock, I determined to be positive and let go gracefully.  But as I settled into the reality of my situation, I resisted letting go and doggedly clung to all that was familiar. I reasoned that I hadn't quit on anything, that I hadn't walked out of my life, and it wasn't going to change.  One year plus later, I've processed through every unpleasant and unhappy emotion that's come up and let myself FEEL all of it, and then I've repeatedly chosen to let it go.
Finally, I feel like I am through it.  Through the pain of being rejected, abandoned, and replaced. Through the shocked, sad, mad, bitter, disbelieving, disgusted, angry, etc., emotions that have come up… Through it all to the extent that I'm just not any of it anymore. I don’t identify anymore. I’ve moved on. Hallelujah and WooHoo!  
The longer I’m alone, the more I know I’m not lonely, needy, or desperate, and I’m not looking for someone to fill a hole.  I am rock solid and sure, and I like myself a lot. I'm perfectly happy with my own company. That's not to say I'm not open to someone new coming into my life because I am. But I have a long list, and my bar is raised high, and I'm PICKY about who I'll invest time with. I’m not up for dating and wasting my time, and you can bet your bottom dollar I'm never going to settle again.  
Through the process of adjusting and moving on, I've discovered that while I’ve loved my old life very much, I can't take it with me into my future. I know if I want my life to open to new things, I will need a new palette to play and expand in. 
For now, my world is the same. But I am thinking bigger now, and I can feel that my old life isn't fitting nearly as well as it used to.  
So, I've surrendered my old life to the heavens, and (as long as it FEELS right to me) I'm willingly stepping into the new life that unfolds. I trust God and his timing and I’m not in a hurry, but I feel like things are going to change, and I admit I’m feeling anticipation and excitement about the newness that lies ahead. 
Maybe even giddy.

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